So I know none of you want to hear about my uttermost disapointment and despair at not being able to see my favorite band at their last date on their tour yesterday, but it's just too painful not to share.

Let's start this heart wretching story...at the beginning. The day when the tickets for the show went on sale to the general public, and I opened Ticketmaster to find that there were no pit seats left. And then, begging my parents to hurry and buy the tickets for a seat a little near the front, since it was still early, receiving a slap in the face rejection. It's too sudden, there's no cash, and me...angry, maddened, but still hopeful. It was only the first day.

Then I checked my email.

And there, glaring at me at the top, the words that screamed JEW and TBS PRESALE TICKETS. The day before that day. I had the info but missed it. Now I had crossed into the realm of shocked and horrified. Why oh why didn't I check my email a little earlier? Why did this have to happen to me?


For Me This is heaven

Then...a month passed with no shocking twists.

And came the day, May 15. The day of the show. The day to destroy me forever. It didn't start off half bad. On Saturday, I went to the PB Block Party and saw a couple of the local bands there. The last band I saw, Cowboy Mouth, put on a fun show, and despite forgetting to bring sunscreen and getting the shit burned out of me, it was enjoyable. Then I hear on the radio about a Random Act of Kindness they're doing, which is the last chance to win tickets. I had to try my luck, and made my parents take me all the way to SDSU and hoped so very hard. More complications followed which I won't go into right now, but once the drawing finished, I realized that despite my love of the band and need to see the show, I didn't win. In fact, a college kid got away with the tickets. Pit seats. And an autographed copy of the latest CD with a demo CD included.

On the ride home I stayed silent and cursed the higher powers above and became sworn enemies with that force ruining all my chances. After this show, the band is touring in Europe, and then Japan, and then taking a break...it'll be at least several years before I even get an oppurtunity to see them again.

Once home, I rushed into my room, put on Futures, and cried while I read all the lyrics...despite already knowing all the words by heart. After that I listened to Clarity, and by the middle of the 16 minute track, "Goodbye Sky Harbor", had calmed down enough to go outside and grab some food. I was still in a state of depression, and kept listening to the CDs as I slept.



This morning I got up with no energy. I didn't want to leave for school, I didn't want breakfast, I didn't want to do anything besides crying all over again. But, I held back. I tried to think of the bright side...I didn't have to sit through Taking Back Sunday for an hour. However, not seeing my favorite band, my inspiration, my passion, was not worth it.

You ask why I couldn't have just brought the tickets. They weren't sold out. But I'm not rich. 60 bucks (ticketmaster charges, someone to go with, blah blah blah) for a seat in the back of the gigantic stadium and sitting through Taking Back Sunday still wasn't worth it.

I'm still very depressed. And I felt that you should all share my pain. Plus, it was torture listening to one of my classmates who went to the show and told me how amazing it was. I couldn't stop listening and imagining...the glory of being there, seeing Jim and Zach and Rick and Tom...but I shouldn't keep thinking about.

Let's celebrate the sadness with some wondeful songs by this unbelievable band.

Jimmy Eat World, I love you.

Download:
Your New Aesthetic
For Me This Is Heaven
Sweetness